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Post by Mr.Gold/Rumpelstiltskin on Mar 7, 2015 20:41:28 GMT -5
bowing his head in shame the path that his father had force him down had been the one that he had made Bae wander down. alone a afraid and unwanted. the shame was so over whelming it was stifling in the room.
moving in slow steps he wanted to try to comfort Bae. kneeling at the couch the imp took Neal's hand into his. I know I mess up I know there is nothing I can say or do to take your pain away. I love you bae I was fool I was coward. you were all I wanted for years. I searched for ways to find you . a whole world Bae I moved a whole realm for you . nothing would keep you from but that wasn't true was it my boy. my own choices kept you away, kiss his boys hand squeezing it tight is there anything i can do to start to make this up to you?
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I grew up alone. I grew up without a father. You can make up for that?
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Post by Neal Cassidy on Mar 8, 2015 6:06:45 GMT -5
Neal continued to lie on the couch, staring up at the ceiling as memories of his foster system life flashed through his head. Four years of bouncing from home to home, no-one wanting him since the Darlings. Over 200 years before. He was just a scared and lost little boy, who didn't matter to anyone anymore and had nowhere to belong.
Hearing the footsteps coming towards him, he didn't dare look up. Looking in his father's eyes, would only bring back the pain of everything that happened to him. Once his father took his hand in his, he turned to face him as he heard his father's words. Hearing him say that he loved him and was wanted by him made him happy and tried to blink back the tears that were coming to his eyes. All Neal could do was nod at this point, he wasn't sure what he could say to make him feel better. "I love you too papa. I appreciate that, but, you shouldn't have needed to do that at all. Yeah, it was your choices that tore us apart." As his father kissed his hands, he felt himself crumble as his wall came down and felt tears coming to his eyes. “I don't know papa. From the moment I went through that portal, I was alone. For years I was just a lost, unwanted, little boy who didn't matter. Always overlooked while in the foster system when people came to adopt. Made to be treated like I was nothing anymore. Never being chosen, and it just brought back my memories of that moment over that pit when you didn't choose me either. Like I wasn't special or important enough for anyone to care about me, the way you say you used to ever again. All because you made the decision to let me go.” Neal felt the tears coming to his eyes, as he continued to feel his papa's grip on his hands. “I, just, I don't know how that can be made up for.” Neal looked away and stood up and walked towards the window as he felt the tears coming to his eyes.
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Post by Mr.Gold/Rumpelstiltskin on Mar 12, 2015 20:11:40 GMT -5
there was no way to take the pain , the mistrust all the unworthiness that Bae had felt through out the years. Rumple had failed not only his son but him self. kissing his sons knuckles once more. pressing his forehead against his boy hand . I make you a vow , deal I intend to keep for now until the end of time lifting his head up to searching Bae's face for understanding or softness. I will never leave you again . for as long as I have breath in my lungs I will be there for you Bae tears began to trickle down his weathered face. Bae you will never want for anything for anything squeezing the man's hand gripping it tight. you were always wanted Bae I know in all those dark times you faced...you faced them bravely my boy . it seemed that you were unloved and not wanted but you were I wanted you more then anything. you are my light in my darkness if I lost you bae I don't know what I would do... that was lie he knew those dark times were all to clear. it was label the Cora years he had given up hope of ever finding his son and in turn he gave into darker desires . closing his eyes not wanting to think about it any more. Bae come home with me today end this stay in the b&b come be with your family |
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Post by Neal Cassidy on Mar 13, 2015 4:35:48 GMT -5
Neal's life had been full of nothing, but, pain, mis-trust and worthlessness. It wasn't what Neal had wanted when he took that bean from the Rhelm Ghorm all those years ago. Feeling his papa kiss and place his forehead on his hands, he continued to feel his wall falling down.
He struggled to be able to look his papa in the eyes, since he knew it would probably only bring more pain. Hearing him make a deal, he couldn't help, but, fight the fear that came to his head. As his papa looked up at him, he lowered his head, looking down at his hands, as he felt tears coming to his face. “I like the sound of that papa, but, you've made promises before” Neal said, finally glancing up at his papa. Feeling the light squeeze on his hands, he looked down and felt his wall starting to continue to crumble and his vulnerability seeping through. “I know all of this now papa, but, for over 200 years, the only real thing I knew was that you didn't want me, at least not more then the power of that dagger. And then, none of the foster families gave a crap about me, they just saw me as a cash cow. How was I supposed to tell that you wanted me, or ever would after everything that happened?” Neal blinked back the tears as the memories came into his head. THE PAST Neal found himself sitting at a table at school, flipping through an old sketchbook suddenly stopping on a sketch of his father. He looked up in front of him sadly, before looking back at it and blinking back tears, as he ran his hand over it. “Why wasn't I your choice papa?” Neal asked softly, as he looked down. “Why?”
“What you got there Neal?” Hearing the voice of someone standing across from him at the table, Neal looked up and then looked around, before looking at him. “It's, um, it's nothing.” Neal said, as he went to close the book. “It seems like something to me” Sliding across, he pulled the book with him as they went to sit down next to him on the bench.
Neal watched as he took a hold of the drawing he was looking at. “Who's this?” his teacher asked, taking a look at it. “No-one. Well, no-one who's in my life anymore” Neal said, sighing sadly as he lowered his head. “It's your father isn't it?” Neal heard the teacher ask, as he let a few tears dripping down his face. “Yeah, it is” Neal said. Putting the paper down, the teacher looked at him “You should keep it, it's good.” Neal felt his hands turn into fists as he heard this. “No, I, I don't want to. It's just a reminder of what I could've had” Neal said, as he continued to look down at the ground.
“I'm sure your father could be with you, if he could.” Neal let out a soft scoff as he looked up at the teacher “That's not true, he's not here even though he could have been, all because he chose something else over me” Feeling the teacher place his shoulder around him in a comforting way, he listened as he heard him speak “I'm sorry to hear that Neal, but, I'm sure your father had his reasons. After all, no parent just leaves their child without a real reason” Neal shook his head “Mine did, the only reason I need to know. He's a coward” Neal felt himself getting slightly angry in his tone. “I'm sure where-ever he is, he's trying to get back to you” Neal let out a soft chuckle, “Oh believe me, he isn't. I know he's not” Feeling the tears come to his eyes, he slid himself slightly away from him and rested his head on the table. “Neal, I'm not sure what to say. Just know I'm here to listen if you want to talk about it.”
Looking up, Neal took a soft breath out, before starting to speak “What's to talk about? He abandoned me, and is forcing me to grow up alone because of the decision he made. I don't need him, I don't need him for anything. I've gotten pretty good at sports without him, I've improved my writing and drawing skills without him. I've had so many birthdays without him, celebrated on my own. So I don't need him for anything.” Neal practically shouted as he paused and then turned back to the teacher before changing the expression on his face and tone in his voice. “How come he didn't want me?” Neal asked, as he started to cry on the bench, crying into the teacher's shoulder as he went to hug him, letting the drawing blow in the wind. THE PRESENT Coming back into the present, he focused back on his father as he told him to come home with him. Neal let out a soft sigh as he looked up at him “I don't know papa. I want to come home, but, I have to know that I won't be setting myself up for heartbreak if I do.”
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Post by Mr.Gold/Rumpelstiltskin on Mar 14, 2015 19:49:11 GMT -5
Seeing the pain that he had cause killed Rumple slowly and painfully. He should have chosen Bae not the dagger. Should, would , could that was the story of his story. Pressing his the side of his face against man's hand. I know and have every right to feel that way all I ask is that you give me a chance to make it up. Give me a chance give us a chance Bae.
Sitting there just staring at Bae watching his son breathing . The dark one remembered doing this when Bae was a baby even on to teen years. When Bae was a young child rumple could not believe that this was his son perfect in all ways. All the times Milah and him had fought they must have done some thing right.
I won't push it has to be your choice know that this could our second chance at being something we should have been long ago
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Post by Neal Cassidy on Mar 16, 2015 8:30:00 GMT -5
Neal hoped that his father could sense the pain that he had caused him, he wanted him to know the exact amount of pain came from his changing his mind. His head had filled with so many what-if's and should have beens, but, it was stupid to think about those at all, since they weren't possible. Feeling the side of his papa's face sit on his hands, he sighed softly before looking at him. “I'm trying to give us a chance, but, everytime I try to and come close, all I see is everything that happened. I don't want to, but, it's always there. I want to give you another chance papa, but, it'll probably take a bit of work.”
Looking down, the memories continued to fill his head. Memories of his foster system life, when his foster siblings and parents gave him a hard time for being a charity case and having to listen to the other kids at school complaining about their parents wanting them too much. Neal didn't know that his papa was just there watching him, like he always used to. Neal continued to wipe away the tears from his face, as all of these feelings came back to the surface.
“Don't you think I know that papa? I know this can be our second chance, but, I just worry it'll bring back too much pain of missing so much time. And being forced to grow up without you.”
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Post by Mr.Gold/Rumpelstiltskin on Mar 18, 2015 0:20:56 GMT -5
Words cut through him , very fact that he had left Bae made him realize that Rumple was in fact like Malcolm. I'm this vicious circle he had done the same to Neal that his own papa had done. One more kiss on his boys knuckles before letting go. I'm never letting go of you again . I will be by your side through thick or thin. standing up slowly wiping the tears that had rolled down his cheek.
I know what I've done is unforgivable its something I can never take back or heal completely the pain you have to dealt with ither. But moving on doesn't mean you forget about those things it just means you have accepted what has happen . Don't let the pain of what your papa has done to you crush your good heart Bae. if he had listen to his own advice perhaps his life would have been different as well.
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Post by Neal Cassidy on Mar 19, 2015 1:58:54 GMT -5
You're not the same ------------------- you came back for me papa ------------------- Neal didn't like feeling that way about wanting to have the chance to be with his papa again, but, it was the truth. It had just been so long, since he'd had that chance and now he was left with those feelings inside himself. Smiling softly, he felt a tear escape his eyes as he felt his papa kiss his hands again before standing up. "I like the sound of that papa. It's going to feel a bit awkward for a while actually having a father with me, but, I don't hate the idea." Neal said, chuckling softly, but, wiping away the tears from his face lightly with one finger as they came down slowly.
Lowering his head, he knew that his papa's words were true. "Yeah, nothing can take away the pain, as much as it hurts me to know that. I don't think I could ever truly accept it completely. Accept that you chose the power over me, but, I know that it did happen and that I am trying to get past it. I would never let anything change who I am, and I don't plan on it anytime soon." Neal said, before looking down at the ground. "I want the chance at family I never got a chance to have with you for years. The two of us again. We'll just add Henry, Emma and Belle this time." Neal said, as he felt the tears coming to his eyes. "I... I want to come home papa. Take me home papa." Neal tried to say through the tears, as he felt himself breaking down his walls completely and letting his true feelings show, as the tears came down harder.
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Post by Mr.Gold/Rumpelstiltskin on Mar 21, 2015 9:36:33 GMT -5
Teary eyed Rumple closed the gap between him and Bae. a wrapping his long arms around his boy. Squeezing tight hugging him for dear life. They weren't whole yet but they would get there. Kissing the side of Neal face. He wouldn't let go this time nothing would stops this his boy was home they would be a family once more. His mind flashes back to when he first held Baelfire all the pride that hit him. All the fear and doubt that had plagued his mind and heart during the long limping journey back to hut to Milah to Bae had vanished by one look at the baby sweet face. . Oh, it's all right, Bae. It's all right. Your Papa's here. And I promise... I will never... ever leave you. squeezing his eyes shut tight tears rolled out the corners and he would never do so again...
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Post by Neal Cassidy on Mar 21, 2015 21:31:33 GMT -5
You're not the same ------------------- you came back for me papa ------------------- Neal couldn't stop himself now and as he felt his papa's arms around him squeezing him, he just sat there and felt the tears continuing to come to his eyes, as he enjoyed the feeling of a father's hug around him. Not just a father's hug, his father's. The kiss on his cheek, caused him to move his head to his shoulder and the muffled cries went into his father's shoulder.
Staying there in his father's arms, Neal realised that he was home for good, and he finally had his whole family back. His mind flashed back to the foster system, every-time he was rejected by a new family. 'Why doesn't anyone want me? Why can't I just have a family?' Neal kept his head rested on his father's shoulders, not wanting to lose his family ever again. And would never let it happen.
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