Jefferson winced at the lack of recognition in Snow White’s eyes. It physically hurt, not having people know Grace’s real name. Why?! Why did Regina have to change it?! Ly gave Grace that name! (Jefferson had some other ideas that Ly quickly shot down. Jefferson figured that since she’d done the hard work, carrying the baby inside her, she had more say.) Grace was the only thing Jefferson had left of Ly in this world, the only proof that she’d ever existed, that the two of them had shared something special. He supposed it made sense. Most people had at least some of their things brought over from their wold. But Jefferson hadn’t been in the Enchanted Forest when the curse grabbed him. He’d been in Wonderland. So of course none of his precious things, items with sentiment would have been taken. Although in terms of Ly, he’d managed to keep nothing but his simple wedding ring before Wonderland.
Afer Ly’s execution and Jefferson’s and Grace’s frantic escape, they couldn’t risk going back home. That would be the first place King George would look for them. When things had settled down some time later and the neighbors were watching Grace, he’d managed to sneak back quickly. But he couldn’t leave his hat behind. It was
his hat; and, he needed it. Even if it was too dangerous to use it anymore, he had to have it. And the hat..It was sentient. He just...Leaving it behind forever was unthinkable. But he had to quit his work. Because of it, Grace had lost her mother. Jefferson was all she had left in the world. And he couldn’t let her grow up as an orphan. He knew how the world treated them. So he’d done the hardest thing. He’d stopped being a portal jumper and the Dark One’s messenger. He gave it all up for Grace, so he could be the family she needed.
But things hadn’t worked out. Regina had come to him with a mission. It was supposed to be something quick and simple. And Regina, if no longer a lover, was still important to him. And the thought of one last adventure after all those years tugged at his heart. The neighbors could watch Grace. He’d missed Regina. They could catch up a bit while they had their exploit.
He should have listened to his instincts. Jefferson had known it was a bad idea. That’s why he initially said no, insisted that you didn’t abandon family; and, that’s what Grace deserved. It had been some time since he spoke with Regina or even saw her. Why should he have assumed he still understood her? Once they’d been very close; but, that was a long while back. Her heart had hardened and blackened. She’d grown so much more malevolent and cruel. He never would have guessed she was capable of leaving him stranded in Wonderland, at the mercy of her vicious mother, separated from his beloved daughter. But she had and so here Jefferson was.
He was finally back and no closer to his daughter. How...How could Regina continue to be so vicious and merciless?! She could have given him Grace! He wouldn’t care about the damn curse if Grace was his, if she remembered who he was. He’d have accepted being trapped in his house. Yes...That would still be difficult for someone who longed to travel and explore. But with Grace he could have managed! But not only didn’t she remember him, she didn’t even recall the name Ly had given her! Grace knew nothing of her mother. She was too young when she died which was probably a blessing. Grace would be traumatized if she knew what happened. And talking about it...It was too painful. And Grace was a sweet girl. So she didn’t ask because she knew how choked up he got. But he’d told her that Ly picked the name. It was all she had left of her mother, the only gift she’d ever been able to give her. And now...That was gone too!
Snow White...She’d known Grace, better than most! Jefferson and her lived in isolation, hiding out in the forest in a small hovel as Regina put it. They ventured beyond the forest only when it was time to sell mushrooms at market. They bought everything they needed then too. Then back to their little home. Jefferson was scared of attracting unwanted attention. If King George ever figured out where they were, he’d kill Grace like he’d meant to all those years ago, to make Jefferson suffer!
But Snow had been the one to save them. Without her, Grace would have been ripped alive by rapid dogs! And then...Jefferson had known so little about covering his tracks long term. He was a thief not a bandit. He knew how to get in and get out and sneak something back with him. But avoiding royal guards forever...That was not a skill in his repertoire. Normally most of his problems were left behind when he jumped into his hat. Most of his enemies were in other worlds after all. And few could traverse the lands like him. His hat was special.
But Snow hadn’t abandoned Jefferson and Grace to their fate. A complete stranger had saved them. Well, Jefferson supposed that wasn’t quite true. He’d met Snow once or twice when she was a little girl. He very much doubted she remembered him. He’d been no one important, just an ex-hatter come to visit someone who had no business being interested in him in the first place.
But still...even if she had remembered, that was no reason to risk her neck for him. They’d barely spoken. And here, she’d done everything to rescue the two of them. He was forever in her debt. Because of her, Grace lived.
But now..She didn’t even remember him or Grace not as they truly were! She didn’t even remember herself! After Jefferson established a new home for him and his little girl, on occasion Snow would come to visit. She was a bandit, wanted by the queen. (Even now Jefferson refused to think of her as the Evil Queen. She was nothing like her mother. And they had been quite close once upon a time.) So she was afraid of dragging them into her troubles. But Jefferson did insist that she stop by if he could in any way help. He owed her. She’d saved more than his life by rescuing Grace. If someone as twisted and insignificant as him had a soul, that’s what she’d saved, the light of his life, now the only thing that gave him meaning.
But...Where was that meaning now that she couldn’t remember him? All he could do was watch her helplessly, give her a rabbit she’d lost, the last bond between them. And here...Snow...Snow couldn’t even remember her name or all those teas they’d shared over the years!
Snow had become something like what he imagined an aunt to be. She couldn’t come often but every once in a while she would. And it was good for Grace to see her because she had no mother figure.
It was interesting...Spending time with someone Regina loathed. But then, Regina had never been fair to blame a ten year old for Cora’s cruelty and deception. Innocent, sheltered little Snow never stood a chance against that clever monster.
Snow was a noble; but, Jefferson had come to like her. She hadn’t lived like one as a bandit, that was for sure. And she’d saved Grace. And when she came she brought Grace things, things Jefferson couldn’t really afford to give her, like the nice doll. (All the gold he’d saved working for Rumple had been left in his old home, hidden. When he came back there was no time to get anything but the hat. Every second he stayed there the danger increased. And it was likely the gold had already been looted. But as for his hat...No one without strong magic would guess it was special.)
No...Snow didn’t know Paige’s real name. He supposed given everything that had happened with the abduction, it was too much to expect her to remember his mention of Grace.
Snow tried to further distance herself from him. That was understandable. She was cursed and thought Jefferson the one mad when he was one of the very few sane people in this town. Well...maybe not quite sane given the grating memories, the double lives; but, he at least understood more than most. He at least wasn’t crazy!
“Her name is Grace,” he said tone soft yet firm, eyes extra blue as though they were very close to watering.
“Here it’s Paige.” His eyes did water at that.
“But it’s Grace!” She had to understand! That was his little girl! She might know her as Paige; but, she wasn’t! She was Grace! His Grace!
His hand was trembling slightly, another tremor thanks to the mercury poisoning, likely brought about due to stress. He couldn’t very well hide it since he was still holding out the rabbit. She had to get it back! That was their connection, their very last connection! She didn’t even have her name!
“Grace is in your class,” he assured her. He knew. He’d been watching. And there was no way he was saying the name Paige again. He couldn’t!
No, her name wasn’t Mary Margaret Blanchard. But he wasn’t getting into that. She wouldn’t believe him. But that didn’t matter. So long as Grace got her rabbit back things would be...Well nowhere near alright but...It would be a little better at least.
“I’m Jefferson,” he answered, extending a hand for her to shake. It was strange, introducing himself to someone who already knew him but didn’t remember and besides that someone he’d abducted. But she was being pleasant enough. He should try to be polite. He’d get into less trouble that way. And..At least giving his name didn’t hurt. Because Jefferson was still his name in Storybrooke. It had switched from first name to last but Jefferson was still his. That was something the curse hadn’t entirely ripped away. And if he just gave Jefferson, who was to know if it was first or last? Although Snow probably had fake memories of him. Still the introduction was honest. He could at least pretend she’d think Jefferson was his first name, the real him. At least he hoped it was the real him. Sometimes it was so easy to feed into the lie, believe he was crazy, losing his mind given the loss of a girlfriend who’d never existed. Oh how the memories contrasted, grated, hurt his head. But now...For this moment at least he was convinced, his real self was Jefferson Hatter. And Grace was his little girl!
He smiled when she assured him she hadn’t pressed charges. He was too miserable for the expression to entirely light up his eyes; but, they grew less dark at least. This part was the same. Both Snow and Mary Margaret were kind. Although...his more cynical self realized pressing charges would be complicated without implicating herself in a crime. Still, after everything Snow had done for him, he wanted to believe there was more to it than that. He'd like to believe some small part of Mary remembered the Snow and was being good to Jefferson when she had no reason to be.
He shook his head.
“I wasn’t mistaken. Emma's Henry is right. You just choose not to believe him. You’re Snow White and your love is Prince Charming. You were able to wake him up. And bad things do happen to the people who leave Storybrooke. You might not believe it; but, I was trying to save you. I couldn’t let you leave. You saved Grace a long time ago. I couldn’t let you get hurt.” His words were calm, spoken in the demeanor of one frustrated but thoroughly convinced he’d be unable to get someone to understand the truth of them.
He had to say it though. Jefferson wanted her to understand that his intention had never been to hurt her. But she wouldn’t go back to jail without Emma to convince her to stay. And if she wasn’t restrained she’d try to run just thinking Jefferson was nuts. And then she might cross the town line. She had to be gagged so no one would hear her scream. He’d tried to make her as comfortable as one tied up could be.
“Please! I can’t leave it in lost and found! You have to make sure Grace gets it!” he said desperately, body shuddering violently. If it was left in lost in found any child that liked it could take it! What if someone got it before Grace?! No! She couldn’t lose that too!
Snow White/Mary Margaret
