Post by Emma Swan on Nov 23, 2015 12:08:31 GMT -5
I would have never thought I would be someone to write down anything like this, but I guess that being the Dark One does change you more than you thought you would.
I believe that they call this a journal. I prefer to call it a way to spend my time during the nights. Storybrooke has never been a busy town, at least if you take away all of the fools who had tried to unleash their acts of revenge upon it.
You only have to take away that and this town is nothing more than a pile of buildings filled with people who will never become back who they used to be before the first curse hit. They think they are and manage pretty well but in reality they all know the truth.
It’s 2.24 AM right now and the town sleeps, preparing itself for the next day. I can’t. I can’t sleep. For weeks now I’m unable to sleep or to dream. The only form of dreams that I have access to are the memories that I kept inside dreamcatchers I made along the way. Still I make them and still I hope they will feed my need on human contact. Contact that doesn’t end in cruel words and broken hearts.
Everything I did was for Killian. Every action that caused the people I love to get hurt, all of it is for him. I know that I’m being selfish. I know that Dark One’s are, but my act of selfishness wasn’t one I made because of the darkness. No… it was one out of love. I couldn’t lose him. I just couldn’t. We still have a future, me and Killian. We have one with this house, this town, we have one together. I would do it all again. This curse, this inability for everyone to remember, was the only thing I wanted. No one, no one can know about Killian, about Excalibur, about the truth.
When I close my eyes I can still see you in front of me Killian. A huge gab in your neck, causing you to leave your last breath at the one place you’ve made me feel safe. I still have the rose you gave me as well.
I might be the victim of darkness but all of my actions are decided by myself, not the darkness. If those actions mean that I end up alone, I only know that I will have to try harder. All I need right now is time. Time to prepare my last plans and then both mine and Killian’s time will be there. I will get the both of us out of this darkness Killian, you only have to wait and see. And once I do we will have that future we’ve been talking about.
Trust me.
I believe that they call this a journal. I prefer to call it a way to spend my time during the nights. Storybrooke has never been a busy town, at least if you take away all of the fools who had tried to unleash their acts of revenge upon it.
You only have to take away that and this town is nothing more than a pile of buildings filled with people who will never become back who they used to be before the first curse hit. They think they are and manage pretty well but in reality they all know the truth.
It’s 2.24 AM right now and the town sleeps, preparing itself for the next day. I can’t. I can’t sleep. For weeks now I’m unable to sleep or to dream. The only form of dreams that I have access to are the memories that I kept inside dreamcatchers I made along the way. Still I make them and still I hope they will feed my need on human contact. Contact that doesn’t end in cruel words and broken hearts.
Everything I did was for Killian. Every action that caused the people I love to get hurt, all of it is for him. I know that I’m being selfish. I know that Dark One’s are, but my act of selfishness wasn’t one I made because of the darkness. No… it was one out of love. I couldn’t lose him. I just couldn’t. We still have a future, me and Killian. We have one with this house, this town, we have one together. I would do it all again. This curse, this inability for everyone to remember, was the only thing I wanted. No one, no one can know about Killian, about Excalibur, about the truth.
When I close my eyes I can still see you in front of me Killian. A huge gab in your neck, causing you to leave your last breath at the one place you’ve made me feel safe. I still have the rose you gave me as well.
I might be the victim of darkness but all of my actions are decided by myself, not the darkness. If those actions mean that I end up alone, I only know that I will have to try harder. All I need right now is time. Time to prepare my last plans and then both mine and Killian’s time will be there. I will get the both of us out of this darkness Killian, you only have to wait and see. And once I do we will have that future we’ve been talking about.
Trust me.